Running without her heart
by HottguysofGHJason
Summary: Courtney has lost her baby, and now she has left because she thinks jason doesn't want her anymore. PLEASE READ and REVIEW. Oh and this is a journey fic. and all "Liz bashing" as someone told me is unintentional.
1. Chapter 1

Running with her Heart  
Ok so this whole chapter is basically gonna be transcript of where the  
story is starting and what not and then I will continue on with a story  
totally original. Just so you know. Also this story is a journey one, and I  
don't hate Liz, but I did when I wrote a chapter in the story and now I  
can't change it cause I makes a lot of sense. And if ur wondering, I wrote  
this story months ago, but I lost it so I am rewriting it from memory. Well  
that's it, Now here's the chapter.  
  
The chapel  
Jason: God, can you help my little sister? She's afraid to die, but she  
pretends she isn't. Could you take emily's fear away and just let her know  
that, you know, it's ok to stop fighting and let go and that all the people  
she loves will be all right when she's gone? I'm not sure how. I can't  
imagine this world without emily. All I know is that i can't think about  
that right now. So just please help me make it ok for her to go. [Liz puts  
her hand on his shoulder]  
Elizabeth: I was here earlier.  
Jason: For the wedding?  
Elizabeth: Yeah. It was beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time.  
Jason: Yeah, I bet it was.  
Elizabeth: I tried to go home. I got about halfway, and then i had to -- I  
had to turn back around. I just -- I just can't leave. Emily's my best  
friend, jason. I don't know how to let her go.  
Jason: Look, I know it's hard, but we have to.  
Elizabeth: I just can't imagine life without her. Why is this happening?  
[She leans her head on his shoulder and Court sees from the back]  
Knock on door]  
elizabeth: Hi. Is jason here? I really need to speak with him.  
Courtney: He's out. Did you try his phone?  
Elizabeth: Yes, but his cell was turned off, and I have great news about  
emily. I just wanted to tell him.  
Courtney: Yeah, I know what you want, elizabeth.  
Courtney: You know, there are other ways of contacting jason that don't  
include coming to his house.  
Elizabeth: Yeah, just tell him that i stopped by, ok?  
Courtney: Why don't you just admit that you want him back?  
Elizabeth: Oh, what?  
Courtney: Come on, elizabeth. I mean, ric turned out to be just as sick and  
twisted as i warned you he would be --  
[door opens]  
courtney: And now you want to steal jason away from me, and it's not going  
to --  
jason: What's going on?  
Courtney: I want you to leave. You're not welcome in our home.  
Elizabeth: I just came by to tell you that emily woke up.  
Courtney: Ok, he knows. You can go now.  
Jason: Yeah, I saw her this morning. Thanks.  
Elizabeth: Ok, good. Well, she's getting better. That's all i wanted to  
say. [she leaves]  
Jason: Ok. What's going on with you?  
Courtney: I saw you with her at the hospital, jason. You guys had your arms  
around each other.  
Jason: In the chapel. Why didn't you -- why didn't you say something? Why  
didn't you say --  
courtney: God, elizabeth is after you, jason. Can't you see that? She  
always has been!  
Jason: Courtney -- courtney, emily was dying. She's my sister. That's  
elizabeth's best friend.  
Courtney: And I'm not part of your little group, right?  
Jason: What -- what group?  
Courtney: You know what? Just go. If you want elizabeth, go. Go get her,  
please.  
Jason: What are you talking about?  
Courtney: [crying] You fought everybody for me, jason. I mean, sonny, a.J.,  
Even your perfect little china doll elizabeth. But the joke's on you,  
right? Right? I mean, all that fighting was for nothing, all that trouble,  
and you're going to go back to elizabeth anyway!  
Jason: Where is this coming from?  
Courtney: You want a child, jason! I can't give it to you, but elizabeth --  
she can give it to you.  
Jason: Courtney, I thought my little sister was dying. It was a bad night.  
Elizabeth and I helped each other, but it has nothing to do with having  
children.  
Courtney: So, what, it doesn't matter to you that she can have your baby  
and I can't?  
Jason: What? No, it doesn't matter. What -- why are you being like this?  
Courtney: I'm trying to figure out what you want, jason. And I have to  
figure it out on my own because you refuse to tell me. I mean, you never  
really wanted to be a father at all, did you? I mean -- I should've  
listened. You kept telling me that you don't want to be a father.  
Jason: That's not fair. I didn't know that you were pregnant.  
Courtney: So would you have pretended if you did know and been secretly  
relieved that the two of us can't have a child? I mean, you -- you could  
still keep working, keep risking your life and not be a father.  
Jason: You're not making any sense. First you say I want to be with  
elizabeth to have children, then you're saying i don't want to have a baby  
at all. Which one is it?  
Courtney: Because you don't, jason! God, you don't -- you don't even care  
about me losing our baby. You don't miss her at all! You don't dream about  
her!  
Jason: I've been trying to help you, courtney.  
Courtney: You're making everything worse, ok?  
Jason: Just -- you got to tell me what -  
[He moves towards her but she pulls away]  
courtney: No, just keep -- go away, please.  
[Jason sighs and leaves]  
  
Ok so I know that is kinda boring since this has already happened, but like  
I said from now on it is all me writing. Preview: What will Courtney do? 


	2. Leaving

Here is the next chapter, I know it's been a long time, but I had school and a bunch of other stuff to deal with, I have time now tho because well I just do. Just to let you know the more reviews I get the more motivated I am to write another chapter and that means more often. I also just want to tell you that I did once upon a time write this story, but didn't finish it, but I lost it so I don't have it. Well here goes!  
  
Courtney's p.o.v.  
  
Why did I have him leave? I need him, but he wants something I can't give him anymore.  
  
He wants a baby. I can see it in his eyes. That's what makes this all worse. Plus it looks  
  
like Elizabeth has her sight on Jason. She wants him and you know what I can't blame her.  
  
I don't think I can take this disappointment anymore. I need to leave, go, get away from this  
  
place and not be found. Find a place where nobody knows me and nobody is disappointed in me.  
  
It is my fault I lost the baby. It's my fault I can't get pregnant and it's my fault I am  
  
losing Jason to Elizabeth. Everything has always been my fault. That's what my mom told me  
  
when she was drunk, it was my entire fault she had to work in a casino. That's what my dad  
  
said before he left, it's all fault my fault he had to leave. That's what Sonny said about  
  
me and Jason, It's all your fault you fell in love with him. Now, I see it in Jason's eyes.  
  
The only person I have every wanted to truly care about me and I never wanted to see that in  
  
His eyes. The disappointment, the decreasing love, everything I see in his eyes now just makes  
  
it worse.  
  
That's why I must leave.  
  
While she was thinking these things she packed. She got out four suitcases and packed up  
  
all her clothes and as much of her things as possible. She walked down the stairs crying.  
  
She went into the closet and reached on the top shelf and took Jason's spare gun.  
  
"Just for protection" she said out loud.  
  
Across the hall...  
  
Carly: Jason just give her some time.  
  
Jason: I just don't know what to do. She just keeps pushing me away.  
  
Carly: Stay with her. You shouldn't even be over here right now, you should be with her.  
  
Jason: She told me to leave  
  
Carly: Well I bet she didn't mean it. She needs you right now more than ever. Jason: I don't know I feel so confused. (A/N I know Jason sounds like a girl here. FYI I didn't plan for him to sound like this)  
  
Carly: Well I don't know what to tell you  
  
Jason: I'm going to go work. Bye Carly  
  
With that Jason walks out the door and to the elevator. There was somebody already on it  
  
and Jason didn't catch it in time. Little did he know that it was his wife. While Courtney  
  
made her way to a cab to catch a plane, Jason got on the elevator.  
  
From Carly's P.O.V. "Courtney????" I yelled. I didn't get a response.  
  
That's weird I could have sworn Jason said she was over here. I decided to go check her  
  
room she might be sleeping, but when I got up there, there was nothing but an empty  
  
room. I made my way back downstairs and there on the table was a piece of paper.  
  
"I guess I should read it." I say out loud.  
  
"OH MY G**" I scream so loud after reading the letter. "Oh my G**, Oh my G**, and  
  
Oh my G**!!!!!!"  
  
I grab the phone and call Jason. It rings 4 times and finally he picks up.  
  
"What do you want Carly. I don't have time for you right now I am busy" Jason said in  
  
an Exasperated tone.  
  
"Why? What are you doing?" Carly questioned.  
  
"I'm with Elizabeth." Jason said.  
  
"I can't believe you're with her, when your wife is on a plane leaving you." Carly said in  
  
a the perfect way.  
  
Alright that's it. Question's answered in the next chapter: Why is Jason with Liz? What does the note say? Where is Courtney going? And remember Review, cuz I won't update unless I get at least 5 reviews. 


	3. Disclaimer and an

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. I do own the plot line.  
  
A/N: I would just like to know xjourneyfan how I am bashing liz. I like liz and I have thought about it and I could have been a lot worse about it and wat do you mean this is a jip fic. So if you could tell me, u can e-mail me. 


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